Is Yanni 'guilty' of being a 'New Age hack'?

To our readers: While the following "courtroom drama" is tongue-in-cheek, Yanni's replies are real, from a teleconference he held last month. The questions? Jack took some editorial license - OK, we rewrote and condensed them - using similar queries reporters posed during the group phone call. Read the transcript of the actual interview using this link.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you've heard the testimony, seen the alleged evidence and listened to the accusations leveled against my client, Giannis "Yanni" Chrysomallis.

And I'm here to refute every word of it. I will present evidence that Yanni does not, in fact, "suck." Nor is he a "New Age hack" who built his fame by co-opting rhythms and musical traditions from just about every culture in the world.

But first, let's be clear on one thing: Yanni is not Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute. Different guy entirely,

I'd like to call my only witness, Yanni himself. Now, Mr. Chrysomallis, you've been lampooned by "Beavis and Butthead" and been the subject of some rather unkind online videos. How do you respond to those who have never actually heard your music but still claim they hate you?

In America, a lot of people have heard of me. They know my name, but they really don't know the music. After a concert, they usually will say "I had no idea that your music is like this or that you put on a show like this."

So, you are saying that you prefer to let the music do the talking?

I know there are people in the audience that don't want to be there. Somebody brought them there, you know. But I know that they're going to walk away satisfied. I know they're going to at least look at this orchestra and listen to this sound and I know they've never heard better sound in a concert and I know they have to be impressed with the virtuosity of the musicianship.

What of the charge that you're a "New Age" musician whose music is best suited for elevators and dentists' offices?

People didn't know what to do with my music because the rhythms I use and the sounds I use, they're not Western. It's not classical, it's not really rock 'n' roll, it's not jazz and it's not Middle Eastern, it's not Mediterranean and yet all of those elements are in it. So what do you call it? So, you know, I think for lack of a better term, some brilliant person in Los Angles somewhere in an office came up with an idea: "Let's call everything 'New Age' that we don't know what to do with," and they threw everything in there.

Wait a minute, are you claiming that Yanni rocks?

Rock 'n' roll represents a good part of America, and it taught me a lot about the culture. And I played it for about 12, 13 years and we were doing 220, 230 one-nighters a year.

There are those who claim a large part of your success is due to your band, that you surround yourself with world-class musicians who make you look good. What about that?

My musicians can play everything, and they have played everything. Most of them have played rock 'n' roll for years, like my drummer, Charlie Adams. They grew up in America playing rock 'n' roll. That's all they did. And a lot of them are jazz-trained. Most of them are jazz musicians, and some of them are jazz and classically trained. It's kind of cool to be in the middle of so many talented people, and, for some reason, they listen to me. I can't believe it.

But you are classically trained, right?

I am so happy that I didn't go to school and I didn't have anyone to tell me how to position my fingers on the piano correctly and what you do with music and what is the correct way to write it. My father was very clever to let me be. And so I just climbed up on the piano and taught myself.

So how do you prove that you're not, as one critic called you, the "new Lawrence Welk?"

I got to a place in my life where I don't feel as an artist that I have to prove anything to anybody anymore. I do what I want. If I want to tour, I can tour. If I want to do an album, I can do an album. If I want to do an album with vocals, I can do an album with vocals. That's a very nice place to be in life. I'm not saying I have everything I need, but it's a good place.

Your honor, the defense rests.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you've heard the testimony, seen the alleged evidence and listened to the accusations leveled against my client, Giannis "Yanni" Chrysomallis.

And I'm here to refute every word of it. I will present evidence that Yanni does not, in fact, "suck." Nor is he a "New Age hack" who built his fame by co-opting rhythms and musical traditions from just about every culture in the world.

But first, let's be clear on one thing: Yanni is not Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute. Different guy entirely,

I'd like to call my only witness, Yanni himself. Now, Mr. Chrysomallis, you've been lampooned by "Beavis and Butthead" and been the subject of some rather unkind online videos. How do you respond to those who have never actually heard your music but still claim they hate you?

In America a lot of people have heard of me. They know my name but they really don't know the music. After a concert, they usually will say "I had no idea that your music is like this or that you put on a show like this."

So, you are saying that you prefer to let the music do the talking?

I know there are people in the audience that don't want to be there. Somebody brought them there, you know. But I know that they're going to walk away satisfied. I know they're going to at least look at this orchestra and listen to this sound and I know they've never heard better sound in a concert and I know they have to be impressed with the virtuosity of the musicianship.

What of the charge that you're a "New Age" musician whose music is best suited for elevators and dentists' offices?

People didn't know what to do with my music because the rhythms I use and the sounds I use, they're not Western. It's not classical, it's not really rock 'n' roll, it's not jazz and it's not Middle Eastern, it's not Mediterranean and yet all of those elements are in it. So what do you call it? So, you know, I think for lack of a better term, some brilliant person in Los Angles somewhere in an office came up with an idea: "Let's call everything 'New Age' that we don't know what to do with," and they threw everything in there.

Wait a minute, are you claiming that Yanni rocks?

Rock 'n' roll represents a good part of America, and it taught me a lot about the culture. And I played it for about 12, 13 years and we were doing 220, 230 one-nighters a year.

There are those who claim a large part of your success is due to your band, that you surround yourself with world-class musicians who make you look good. What about that?

My musicians can play everything and they have played everything. Most of them have played rock 'n' roll for years, like my drummer, Charlie Adams. They grew up in America playing rock 'n' roll. That's all they did. And a lot of them are jazz-trained. Most of them are jazz musicians, and some of them are jazz and classically trained. It's kind of cool to be in the middle of so many talented people and, for some reason, they listen to me. I can't believe it.

But you are classically trained, right?

I am so happy that I didn't go to school and I didn't have anyone to tell me how to position my fingers on the piano correctly and what you do with music and what is the correct way to write it. My father was very clever to let me be. And so I just climbed up on the piano and taught myself.

So how do you prove that you're not, as one critic called you, the "new Lawrence Welk?"

I got to a place in my life where I don't feel as an artist that I have to prove anything to anybody anymore. I do what I want. If I want to tour, I can tour. If I want to do an album, I can do an album. If I want to do an album with vocals, I can do an album with vocals. That's a very nice place to be in life. I'm not saying I have everything I need, but it's a good place.

Your honor, the defense rests.

Tom Szaroleta: (904) 359-4548